Dance like nobody's watching.

Dear Mom,


So yesterday was my first college dance class, and I couldn't help but think about dance class at the studio. I forgot how much fun I had. Sure, it was hard work... but I really wish I could have somehow stuck with it.
I'm going to have to work really hard in this class, but I think I'm up to the challenge. Just more stretching and ab work is needed when I'm not in class.
I remember how much you loved to watch me perform. It didn't matter if I told you that I messed up, or forgot a part, or was put in the back.... You were always so proud of me. 
I'm glad that no matter what, you can always watch me dance now. I know that you're so happy that I'm dancing again. Even though it's hard for me to move, let alone walk, because of how sore I am.... I'm happy too. 

                                                                 Love your Baby Doll,
               Tessy Loo Loo

The Cycle of Death.

Dear Mom,

“Death takes the good, too good to stay, And leaves the bad, too bad to take away." --Harold Kushner.

I found this quote tonight, and it really made me think. In fact, I am thinking so many things about it, that it's hard to put it into words.

But what I do know, is that a lot of good people have been taken away from the people around me lately. My heart aches for them, understanding their pain, to a certain extent. I hope someday soon they'll all truly understand that it DOES get better. It's not just an overused phrase.

Maybe there's no reason as to why people are taken away from us. It's just the cycle of life. To me, it really is a cycle. Cycles never end. Just like life. I believe we move from one life to the next. We just don't know what's in store for us until OUR time comes.

Even though I'm talking in circles right now, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I'm glad I've learned what I've learned about death, because it helps me when things like this happen to those around me. Tragedies are never easy to deal with, but I guess I like being strong for other people, instead of trying to be strong for myself.

I love you Mom. Thank you for all that you've taught me.

                                                Love your BabyDoll,

                Tessy Loo Loo

Love Heals.

Dear Mom, 

I wish I thought about you more

But sometimes, it's too hard.

It's easier to be strong, and to be at peace.

I'm so thankful you're in a better place

Where you can always watch me grow

If you were here, I wouldn't stand to see your heart break

with me being away at school.

I constantly get this feeling

I feel, you.

Your hands are on my shoulders

You're kissing me on the cheek

You're telling me you're here

Even though you aren't.

Lately I've had this obsession with babies

and I know it's because of you.

I long to have my own daughter,

so I can love my own baby girl

and give her what you gave me

Love heals.

Even though you're gone,

the love you gave me stronger.

you help me heal.

you help me grow.

I'm so lucky to have you as my mom

and I'm even luckier 

to have you as my guardian angel. <3

                                                                   Your Baby Doll,

              Tessy Loo-Loo.