Dear Mom,
Tonight, I am heartbroken
for the loss of someone I never met
She was an answer to my prayers
She helped replace earlier grief, with hope
Those dreams have shattered
Tonight, I am angry
at the disease that has already taken my world away
It stole my parent
It now has stolen someone part of me
"Leukemia" has gone too far.
Tonight, I am confused
because this was never supposed to happen
I didn't know she wasn't recovering
I didn't anticipate this kind of pain
Shock doesn't begin to cover it
Tonight, I am numb
because this all too overwhelming
I know I added time to her to her life
I know I have made many impacts
Soon I will see this, but for now I will grieve.
Rest in paradise, my dear bone marrow recipient. I always dreamed of meeting you, with your whole family. I never thought this day would come so soon when I would have to mourn your loss. I cannot imagine what your family is going through so close to the holidays (assuming this happened recently.) I am sorry you were not able to win your battle.
I hope you and my recipient are able to meet in Heaven, mom. Although it hurts that this disease has affected me, and people in general, so much.... I know that she is no longer suffering. If she wasn't able to win her battle, then it was her time to be relieved of the pain she had been going through. I know that. And I am grateful.
I love you, Mom. Today's news has made me miss you more than ever. I wish you were here to comfort me. At one point when I was crying tonight, I blew up into full on sobs; old grief creeping up on me, old feelings returning. I know in either case, there was nothing I could do. Your health was in no way my control. It was up to fate what would happen, and unfortunately it was not and ending anyone expected. I wish I could change it, but I can't.
Love you, Mom. Please help me get through this.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Showing posts with label bone marrow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bone marrow. Show all posts
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Small dream grows: the road to the donor drive.
Dear Mom,
"There's nothing more life changing than saving a life."
"I'm committed to saving lives."
"Being a donor forever binds you."
"Love ties people together"
"I am forever bound to something that's bigger than myself"
"Committed to donate, committed to save a life."
These are just some of the ideas from a brainstorming sesh between Ashlyn and me, for the artwork she is donating to my donor drive. Donor drive? Yes, my dream is finally becoming a reality. On January 11th, I am holding an event to sign people up for Be the Match.
It's crazy to think that this time two years ago, I had barely signed up for the registry. It was more like a bucket list thing. I never thought I would actually get matched to someone.
Now here I am, trying to study for finals while organizing a donor drive, with the help of the mayor of Hollister and Robert Guerrero. I have the help of many local donors and volunteers, and the support of so many people. This is going to be INSANE. Insanely GREAT.
"There's nothing more life changing than saving a life."
"I'm committed to saving lives."
"Being a donor forever binds you."
"Love ties people together"
"I am forever bound to something that's bigger than myself"
"Committed to donate, committed to save a life."
These are just some of the ideas from a brainstorming sesh between Ashlyn and me, for the artwork she is donating to my donor drive. Donor drive? Yes, my dream is finally becoming a reality. On January 11th, I am holding an event to sign people up for Be the Match.
It's crazy to think that this time two years ago, I had barely signed up for the registry. It was more like a bucket list thing. I never thought I would actually get matched to someone.
Now here I am, trying to study for finals while organizing a donor drive, with the help of the mayor of Hollister and Robert Guerrero. I have the help of many local donors and volunteers, and the support of so many people. This is going to be INSANE. Insanely GREAT.
I mean come one, is this real life?!
I am so lucky to be from such a loving and generous community. I have tons of donors, like how Taunya is going to be crocheting like crazy, Tina's trying to get one of her Sharks photographs autographed, SBSC is donating a membership basket, Lindsay is donating a gift certificate for her cupcakes and is also making cupcakes for the actual event... and now Janell with Oragami Owl Jewelry is going to do an online jewelry party with me, where half the proceeds go toward the drive!
My biggest fear is that people won't show up to the event. I can spread the word and talk about it all I want. But people actually taking the time to attend, and make that decision to sign up, that's a different story. All I can do is push push push, and hope for the best.
And once again, you are my inspiration for all the crazy things that I do. Like running for philanthropy coordinator for AGD... so there's another path of opportunities. :)
Love you mom. Forever and ever.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
A year and 28 days ago.
Dear Mom,
So yesterday I decided to email Susan, my representative from Be the Match who helped me with my entire donation process. I sent her the youtube link to the video of my speech. I was not quite sure what she would think of it or if she would even watch it right away. Early this morning I got an email back from her with this:
"Thank you so much for sharing the video with me. You are truly a beautiful person and are destined to make a difference in this world. When I first met you I knew you were special and the video and your mission just reinforces by belief. You are an inspiration."
So yesterday I decided to email Susan, my representative from Be the Match who helped me with my entire donation process. I sent her the youtube link to the video of my speech. I was not quite sure what she would think of it or if she would even watch it right away. Early this morning I got an email back from her with this:
"Thank you so much for sharing the video with me. You are truly a beautiful person and are destined to make a difference in this world. When I first met you I knew you were special and the video and your mission just reinforces by belief. You are an inspiration."
Hearing this from someone who has worked with so many other donors like myself, and the woman who made the donation process so incredibly easy, meant the world to me. It's this kind of encouragement that keeps pushing me to spread my story to the world, for anyone who will listen!
There have been many times where friends of mine will bring it up, and say that they are thinking about signing up. If they don't stop me, I can talk their ear off for a half hour straight, at least. I am just so obsessed with what Be the Match does. Not only that, but if I explain how simple and easy the donation process really is, and how fulfilling it is, I know people will feel better about signing up. I understand how scary it might sound. Most people hear "bone marrow" and want to run. But if I educate people about how enlightening and inspiring the experience is for the donor, then they can get the real story.
I just can't believe it's been over a year since that early Monday morning. My favorite memory of that day was when it hit afternoon, and Auntie walked over to the blood machine and could see I was just about done. It was like I was dreaming and finally woke up. And then it hit me. Not just that I would soon be free of the needles and be able to stand up for the first time in like 7 or 8 hours. But that I did it. I just changed this stranger's life forever.
Not only that, but I changed mine.
I really hope that when I'm settled down in life and have more time and resources on hand that I can somehow work with the registry. I am passionate about so many things, but the registry is for sure an organization that I know will carry with me for the rest of my life.
Now with this said, I need to make an effort to do a donor drive somewhere! Doing school full time and working 17 hours a week can be kind of time consuming though. Maybe winter break I can organize something back home. That way it won't be so close to Relay for Life where I wouldn't be trying to raise money for 2 things at the same time.
Anyway, random tangent. Point is, I am proud of myself today. I wish you could have been here to experience this whole thing with me. But I guess that's not exactly how it would have worked out, since I did this in honor of you and everything. Nevertheless, I know you would have wanted to be there. But I know you were watching over me that day to make sure everything went okay. Even though you couldn't point anyone to a bed pan so I threw up all over myself during the donation. Just kidding, I'm not blaming you. :)
I love you mom. Thank you for being my inspiration. And the fighting force of everything I do.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
P.s. Can you believe your baby girl is a junior in college now? Me neither.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
So Magical.
Dear Mom,
This past weekend was Relay for Life, and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. It may have been one of the best years ever! I had an amazing time welcoming new team mates, and spending time with old ones. I just love the atmosphere of relay: our whole town coming together for one cause.
Relay was even more special this year because Katie attended! I could tell how much fun she was having. She made herself right at home! I am glad she was able to experience such an amazing organization.
Another reason why Relay was so special this year was because I did a speech during the fight back ceremony. I wrote it out a couple weeks in advance, and worked on it until it was perfect. I poured my whole heart out into it because I knew that would be the only way to reach out to people. So, here it is.
When faced with tragedy, I am sure that many will agree, that one small 3 letter word tends come up. Why. Why me? Why did the unimaginable have to happen? It has been over 4 years since my mother passed away from Leukemia, and I still find myself asking that very question. But it is that very question that led me to the journey of a lifetime. C. S. Lewis said, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary adventure.” I wish I could have trademarked that quote myself, because that’s exactly how I would describe the recent events in my life.
When my mom passed away, my whole life turned upside down, and it took a long time for me to feel happy and find a new normal. Even though I was healing, I still couldn’t help asking, why. I couldn’t accept the fact that “these things just happen” and that “cancer is a horrible disease.” I wanted to take matters into my own hands. Even though I have supported Relay for Life and the American Cancer Society for many years, and now with a Team for my mom, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be a direct part of the cause, I needed to find an answer to that “why.” Somewhere along the way while researching Leukemia, I came across the Be the Match Registry. After looking through their website for a few minutes, I was determined. When I turned 18, I was going to be a registered bone marrow donor.
I talked to some people about it, and many were concerned that I was making such a decision. “You know it hurts, right?” “It feels like a horse kicked you for a week.” But to me, I look at it like this. By donating bone marrow, I would probably go through a few days of pain. Cancer patients go through months, even years of battle. So what’s a few days of pain to someone who’s life is on the line? My mom passed away about 12 hours after her initial diagnosis. She had no chance of living. Who am I to not try and give someone else their chance?
Most registered donors go their whole lives without getting a call saying that could be a possible match for a patient with a life-threatening blood disease. Yet, I donated bone marrow to a complete stranger 8 months after I signed up for the registry. What people don’t know is that most donations are not done surgically anymore. I was able to do a peripheral blood stem cell donation. I was given drug injections to boost my stem cell count for four days in the comfort of my own home. My stem cells were collected on the fifth day, and it took about 7 hours to complete the process. It was kind of like donating blood at a blood drive, but longer and more precise. And no, it didn’t feel like a horse kicked me. The collection was sent off and transfused to my donor the next day. So with 5 days of drug injections that gave me flu-like side effects and minor muscle and bone aches, and 7 hours in a hospital, I was able to give someone a second chance at life. I’m like most people; I hate hospitals, and even now I still hate needles flinch when I get a blood test. But that didn’t stop me. Out of all the donors in the nation, I was the one who matched her. To be a direct part of someone else’s life like that, is the most empowering feeling imaginable.
So while all this was happening, someone else in my life was going a different direction on the same street. A couple weeks after I was told I was a match to my recipient, my good friend Katie Thompson was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was devastated that this disease had closely affected someone else in my life. It was later determined that she would also need a bone marrow transplant. Luckily her sister was a match for her, and their donation day was a month after mine. It bewilders me the way our lives have paralleled, but in a way it has made us a huge support system for each other. Katie experienced her first Relay for Life this weekend, rocking her purple shirt with pride. She has been in remission for over a year and hasn’t needed a blood transfusion in two months. She is living proof that miracles do happen, and bone marrow transplants are life-changing.
If even one person goes home today and signs up for the Be the Match Registry, I know I have done my job. A lot of people are scared to sign up, or don’t even know to do it. I am here today to tell you, that you CAN do it. People make it sound like it’s scarier than it really is. I can speak from experience and say it isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s inspiring. Not only that, but the staff with Be the Match go above and beyond to take care of their donors. I didn’t have to pay for a cent, from the pre-donation physical exam to gas money to go to the hospital. They take care of you, since you’re the one saving a life and everything it would only make sense.
Although I still don’t know the answer to my “why,” I am comforted. Because even though I couldn’t save my mom, I might have saved someone else’s. And that gives me my purpose in life. To inspire others to sign up to try to do the very same thing! You don’t need to experience tragedy to sign up, you don’t need to be a hero; you can just do it. Because you have the power to make a difference. You have the power to save a life.
This past weekend was Relay for Life, and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. It may have been one of the best years ever! I had an amazing time welcoming new team mates, and spending time with old ones. I just love the atmosphere of relay: our whole town coming together for one cause.
Relay was even more special this year because Katie attended! I could tell how much fun she was having. She made herself right at home! I am glad she was able to experience such an amazing organization.
Another reason why Relay was so special this year was because I did a speech during the fight back ceremony. I wrote it out a couple weeks in advance, and worked on it until it was perfect. I poured my whole heart out into it because I knew that would be the only way to reach out to people. So, here it is.
When faced with tragedy, I am sure that many will agree, that one small 3 letter word tends come up. Why. Why me? Why did the unimaginable have to happen? It has been over 4 years since my mother passed away from Leukemia, and I still find myself asking that very question. But it is that very question that led me to the journey of a lifetime. C. S. Lewis said, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary adventure.” I wish I could have trademarked that quote myself, because that’s exactly how I would describe the recent events in my life.
When my mom passed away, my whole life turned upside down, and it took a long time for me to feel happy and find a new normal. Even though I was healing, I still couldn’t help asking, why. I couldn’t accept the fact that “these things just happen” and that “cancer is a horrible disease.” I wanted to take matters into my own hands. Even though I have supported Relay for Life and the American Cancer Society for many years, and now with a Team for my mom, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be a direct part of the cause, I needed to find an answer to that “why.” Somewhere along the way while researching Leukemia, I came across the Be the Match Registry. After looking through their website for a few minutes, I was determined. When I turned 18, I was going to be a registered bone marrow donor.
I talked to some people about it, and many were concerned that I was making such a decision. “You know it hurts, right?” “It feels like a horse kicked you for a week.” But to me, I look at it like this. By donating bone marrow, I would probably go through a few days of pain. Cancer patients go through months, even years of battle. So what’s a few days of pain to someone who’s life is on the line? My mom passed away about 12 hours after her initial diagnosis. She had no chance of living. Who am I to not try and give someone else their chance?
Most registered donors go their whole lives without getting a call saying that could be a possible match for a patient with a life-threatening blood disease. Yet, I donated bone marrow to a complete stranger 8 months after I signed up for the registry. What people don’t know is that most donations are not done surgically anymore. I was able to do a peripheral blood stem cell donation. I was given drug injections to boost my stem cell count for four days in the comfort of my own home. My stem cells were collected on the fifth day, and it took about 7 hours to complete the process. It was kind of like donating blood at a blood drive, but longer and more precise. And no, it didn’t feel like a horse kicked me. The collection was sent off and transfused to my donor the next day. So with 5 days of drug injections that gave me flu-like side effects and minor muscle and bone aches, and 7 hours in a hospital, I was able to give someone a second chance at life. I’m like most people; I hate hospitals, and even now I still hate needles flinch when I get a blood test. But that didn’t stop me. Out of all the donors in the nation, I was the one who matched her. To be a direct part of someone else’s life like that, is the most empowering feeling imaginable.
So while all this was happening, someone else in my life was going a different direction on the same street. A couple weeks after I was told I was a match to my recipient, my good friend Katie Thompson was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was devastated that this disease had closely affected someone else in my life. It was later determined that she would also need a bone marrow transplant. Luckily her sister was a match for her, and their donation day was a month after mine. It bewilders me the way our lives have paralleled, but in a way it has made us a huge support system for each other. Katie experienced her first Relay for Life this weekend, rocking her purple shirt with pride. She has been in remission for over a year and hasn’t needed a blood transfusion in two months. She is living proof that miracles do happen, and bone marrow transplants are life-changing.
If even one person goes home today and signs up for the Be the Match Registry, I know I have done my job. A lot of people are scared to sign up, or don’t even know to do it. I am here today to tell you, that you CAN do it. People make it sound like it’s scarier than it really is. I can speak from experience and say it isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s inspiring. Not only that, but the staff with Be the Match go above and beyond to take care of their donors. I didn’t have to pay for a cent, from the pre-donation physical exam to gas money to go to the hospital. They take care of you, since you’re the one saving a life and everything it would only make sense.
Although I still don’t know the answer to my “why,” I am comforted. Because even though I couldn’t save my mom, I might have saved someone else’s. And that gives me my purpose in life. To inspire others to sign up to try to do the very same thing! You don’t need to experience tragedy to sign up, you don’t need to be a hero; you can just do it. Because you have the power to make a difference. You have the power to save a life.
I was so happy with myself that I didn't cry during the speech! (Although I almost did.) As I finished and started to walk off, I saw the left side of the stands, where all my family and friends were, rise and applaud for me. I smiled with pride. Having that kind of support in my life is what keeps me going, and is why I knew I would be able to do the speech.
And if that wasn't good enough, our team received the Bob Johnson Memorial Award! So exciting for our team to be honored like that! Especially since the award came from friends.
So it is safe to say that I had an amazing time this weekend. Oh! I cut my hair. Katie chopped off 12 inches! I feel like a 90's girl, so I guess I'll have to wear more denim or something.
I love you mom. It always makes me sad to not see you at Relay. But I work even harder to raise money and awareness to honor you, your life and your fight. I love you with all my heart.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I had the best day with you today.
Dear Mom,
So today gave me inspiration to write a more, hmm.. inspiring post than my last one. What a debbie downer I was, starting off the first blog of the new year with gloom! But hey, it happens. And now I am writing to talk about what a great start of the year it has been.
I just got out of my Intro to Disabilities class, and I must say that I am quite inspired! I spoke to my professor after class, and she told me I could use my volunteer hours I need to complete for class in a way that is more useful. She ended up giving me the number of a friend of hers, who is the founder of a speech pathology center here in the city. Hopefully things work out where I can get class credit for working in my future field! Or at least be in close contact with it.
Today was just a really good day. Another being that I heard back from Susan from Be the Match. I am officially donating again! My recipient isn't on the recovery level they want her to be, so I am donating my t cells (I believe?) This essentially means that I will be doing another all-day hospital day, but without the shots that made me woozy and achey. Which is great since I am in school! The only iffy part is that I will be at a different hospital. I am sure Alta Bates is a great facility; I just created a safe zone and comfortability with UCSF. I will be meeting with their staff on monday, though, so that makes me feel a lot better!
And honestly, I have no reason to be nervous. After all, I"ve already done this. I guess it's just a little unsettling, thinking you had done your part, then being told that you need to do it again. Not that it's a drag. It's just something I need to do. I'm just glad that my veins will be happy and healthy, now that I will have food in my stomach without all those silly drugs!
It's on days like these, when things fall into place, that I feel like I have my purpose. I feel a need to be right here, doing what I'm doing. Oh gosh, my song for you "You'll Be there" just started playing on my ipod. Great timing! When good things happen, things that make me think that I am so blessed to have these opportunities, that I really feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I feel you. I feel your warmth, your support. That undying love is something that I know will last forever. And on days like these, I feel at my best. Because I know you're proud of me. I always knew you were proud of me, but reminders like these feel great.
"Sometimes it seems like I don't have a prayer, let the weather take me anymore, but I know I wanna go where the streets are gold cuz you'll be there.." George Strait knows what he's talking about.
Speaking of George Strait, I am going to be bawling at his concert on Friday!!!!! I know I am not going to be getting much sleep this week since I am too freaking excited! I was thinking about all the songs that I hope he'll sing.. but honestly, he can't go wrong with any set! Of course his work from the 90's are probably my favorite, but just being in the same vicinity as him will be a dream come true! With my best friends by my side, and you will be there too I'm sure.
I love you Mom. I know you will be there with me on donation day, helping me stay calm (and keeping auntie calm! I think she might have been more nervous than me last time.) I just hope that everything goes well so that this journey can come to an end, and I can be another step closer to hearing that my recipient is 100% cancer free and recovered.
I love how I quoted T Swift in the title but talked about George Strait. Oh well, they both remind me of you. Music can do amazing things.
Miss you. <3
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
So today gave me inspiration to write a more, hmm.. inspiring post than my last one. What a debbie downer I was, starting off the first blog of the new year with gloom! But hey, it happens. And now I am writing to talk about what a great start of the year it has been.
I just got out of my Intro to Disabilities class, and I must say that I am quite inspired! I spoke to my professor after class, and she told me I could use my volunteer hours I need to complete for class in a way that is more useful. She ended up giving me the number of a friend of hers, who is the founder of a speech pathology center here in the city. Hopefully things work out where I can get class credit for working in my future field! Or at least be in close contact with it.
Today was just a really good day. Another being that I heard back from Susan from Be the Match. I am officially donating again! My recipient isn't on the recovery level they want her to be, so I am donating my t cells (I believe?) This essentially means that I will be doing another all-day hospital day, but without the shots that made me woozy and achey. Which is great since I am in school! The only iffy part is that I will be at a different hospital. I am sure Alta Bates is a great facility; I just created a safe zone and comfortability with UCSF. I will be meeting with their staff on monday, though, so that makes me feel a lot better!
And honestly, I have no reason to be nervous. After all, I"ve already done this. I guess it's just a little unsettling, thinking you had done your part, then being told that you need to do it again. Not that it's a drag. It's just something I need to do. I'm just glad that my veins will be happy and healthy, now that I will have food in my stomach without all those silly drugs!
It's on days like these, when things fall into place, that I feel like I have my purpose. I feel a need to be right here, doing what I'm doing. Oh gosh, my song for you "You'll Be there" just started playing on my ipod. Great timing! When good things happen, things that make me think that I am so blessed to have these opportunities, that I really feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I feel you. I feel your warmth, your support. That undying love is something that I know will last forever. And on days like these, I feel at my best. Because I know you're proud of me. I always knew you were proud of me, but reminders like these feel great.
"Sometimes it seems like I don't have a prayer, let the weather take me anymore, but I know I wanna go where the streets are gold cuz you'll be there.." George Strait knows what he's talking about.
Speaking of George Strait, I am going to be bawling at his concert on Friday!!!!! I know I am not going to be getting much sleep this week since I am too freaking excited! I was thinking about all the songs that I hope he'll sing.. but honestly, he can't go wrong with any set! Of course his work from the 90's are probably my favorite, but just being in the same vicinity as him will be a dream come true! With my best friends by my side, and you will be there too I'm sure.
I love you Mom. I know you will be there with me on donation day, helping me stay calm (and keeping auntie calm! I think she might have been more nervous than me last time.) I just hope that everything goes well so that this journey can come to an end, and I can be another step closer to hearing that my recipient is 100% cancer free and recovered.
I love how I quoted T Swift in the title but talked about George Strait. Oh well, they both remind me of you. Music can do amazing things.
Miss you. <3
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Four months and 2 days ago.
Dear Mom,
It seems like yesterday when I donated bone marrow. D-Day, I like to think of it as. I just got asked about the process of donating, and even though I have explained it dozens and dozens of times, I still get jittery and excited. I love talking about Be the Match! But even more, I love hearing that people are considering signing up themselves.
The more I think about it, the more I am sure.
I want to meet her.
I want to meet the woman, this woman who needed me.
The funny thing is, I needed her too. We needed each other for the same exact reasons.
She needed me, to give her life.
And I needed her, to give me purpose, and closure. An answer to why I am here.
I'm getting all philosophical, and I feel like any minute I will break out into "Purpose" from Avenue Q. But really, she has given me so much. I am so in love with talking about Be the Match, and getting people to listen about my experience. I can never explain enough to people how amazing it was to get to be a part of something where you truly made a significant different in someone else's life. To be a direct cause of something bigger than yourself.
So to be able to meet the person who has given me a mission to get more people to sign up and get a chance to donate... Man. That would be a dream come true. I tear up whenever I imagine it.
We were learning about cancer in class last week, and it was a little unnerving. But whenever I get mad at cancer for hurting so many people in my life, it gives me a drive to keep pushing, keep fighting. I am so glad there are organizations like Relay for Life and Be the Match, where I can feel like I am helping the cause. Helping to fight back. Fight back, the theme for Relay this past year. Two little words, with huge meaning.
I promise Mom. I won't stop fighting, helping others with their battles, until this horrible disease is cured, once and for all.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Readers: You want to learn more about the national bone marrow registry? Be the Match has all the information you need to know. Please consider signing up. You won't know if you're someone's match unless you sign up.
It seems like yesterday when I donated bone marrow. D-Day, I like to think of it as. I just got asked about the process of donating, and even though I have explained it dozens and dozens of times, I still get jittery and excited. I love talking about Be the Match! But even more, I love hearing that people are considering signing up themselves.
The more I think about it, the more I am sure.
I want to meet her.
I want to meet the woman, this woman who needed me.
The funny thing is, I needed her too. We needed each other for the same exact reasons.
She needed me, to give her life.
And I needed her, to give me purpose, and closure. An answer to why I am here.
I'm getting all philosophical, and I feel like any minute I will break out into "Purpose" from Avenue Q. But really, she has given me so much. I am so in love with talking about Be the Match, and getting people to listen about my experience. I can never explain enough to people how amazing it was to get to be a part of something where you truly made a significant different in someone else's life. To be a direct cause of something bigger than yourself.
So to be able to meet the person who has given me a mission to get more people to sign up and get a chance to donate... Man. That would be a dream come true. I tear up whenever I imagine it.
We were learning about cancer in class last week, and it was a little unnerving. But whenever I get mad at cancer for hurting so many people in my life, it gives me a drive to keep pushing, keep fighting. I am so glad there are organizations like Relay for Life and Be the Match, where I can feel like I am helping the cause. Helping to fight back. Fight back, the theme for Relay this past year. Two little words, with huge meaning.
I promise Mom. I won't stop fighting, helping others with their battles, until this horrible disease is cured, once and for all.
Love your babydoll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Readers: You want to learn more about the national bone marrow registry? Be the Match has all the information you need to know. Please consider signing up. You won't know if you're someone's match unless you sign up.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Little snake bites.
Dear Mom,
I had a thought to write a poem about this, since it has to do with one of the best days of my life.
Three months ago I experienced a miracle
Something very few get to do.
I was someone's chosen one, to save her life
To give her a beginning anew.
It was a scary day in the hospital
Not comfortable with all the pricking.
The side effects to my meds were peaking
and to be honest, it was horribly sickening
As much as I wanted it to be over
I wanted to time to stop
I needed to forever remember this day
No further moment could ever top.
I went home feeling better
And I was so proud of what I did
I couldn't believe I made a difference
Maybe I wasn't just a kid.
I looked down at my hand and saw
where the IV attempts left their spots
two on my hand, two on my wrist
Once I was connected, now just dots.
Reflecting on this day makes me smile
those little snakebites still show
barely visible, but still there
for me to look down, and know.
I know what I did that day
I know my dream came true
I know I was able to save someone
and I know I did what I was destined to do.
I kind of hope these marks stay forever. Although I don't particularly like scars, these little snakebites of mine would definitely be an exception.
Love you Mom. Forever and ever.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
I had a thought to write a poem about this, since it has to do with one of the best days of my life.
Something very few get to do.
I was someone's chosen one, to save her life
To give her a beginning anew.
It was a scary day in the hospital
Not comfortable with all the pricking.
The side effects to my meds were peaking
and to be honest, it was horribly sickening
As much as I wanted it to be over
I wanted to time to stop
I needed to forever remember this day
No further moment could ever top.
I went home feeling better
And I was so proud of what I did
I couldn't believe I made a difference
Maybe I wasn't just a kid.
I looked down at my hand and saw
where the IV attempts left their spots
two on my hand, two on my wrist
Once I was connected, now just dots.
Reflecting on this day makes me smile
those little snakebites still show
barely visible, but still there
for me to look down, and know.
I know what I did that day
I know my dream came true
I know I was able to save someone
and I know I did what I was destined to do.
I kind of hope these marks stay forever. Although I don't particularly like scars, these little snakebites of mine would definitely be an exception.
Love you Mom. Forever and ever.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Thursday, August 23, 2012
"I just wanted to save a life."
Dear Mom,
So it's been two and a half weeks since my PBSC donation, and many thoughts and emotions have been going though me. It's so weird to think that I gave someone what they needed to survive; and the night of the donation, I was perfectly fine, like nothing even happened. I could move on with my life, fancy free.
Because of this, I became really unemotional about it all. People would ask me if I get to meet to donee. I would respond that I would have to wait either half a year, or a year, depending if the patient wants to meet me. To me, I didn't mind if I met the person or not. I did my part, went through the week long process. Just knowing I went through with it is exhilarating enough for me.
Then, about a week after the donation, I kicked it old school and watched some re-runs of "7th Heaven." In one of the episodes, a woman finally got to meet not just one donee, but three that received different organs from her son who died in a car accident. I was balling like a baby when I saw how emotional she was; so happy that her loss saved three lives. I know my situation is different. But it made me realize that if I ever do meet my recipient, I had better have a whole box of tissues with me. It's going to be so much more emotional than I thought.
Another thought I've been having is a silly question I have been asked a lot.
"What made you decide to donate?"
Now, to me, that is a silly question. And one that is hard to answer without sounding..... snobbish? I mean, I do have a reason for signing up for the registry. A short time after you passed away, I wanted a direct way to help, to give back. I don't remember what I googled one day, but somehow I came upon the Be the Match registry. I read through some of the information and process details, and was dismayed to see that I had to wait until I was 18 to sign up. I talked to my aunt about it, and she was very excited about it all.
So I guess that is one answer to that question. My mom died of Leukemia, so I wanted to save someone else from their battle. But that is a little close and personal. And an unnecessary answer. I mean, to me, if it took someone to die for someone else to sign up, what good would that do? I mean, why can't the answer be plain and simple.
"I just wanted to save a life."
It really is that simple. I mean the odds of a patient to match with someone else's bone marrow are MICROSCOPIC. I feel like just knowing that, people should sign up. If you are healthy and able, are cancer free, are between the ages of 18 and 60, meet the BMI requirements, and have never had spinal surgery, why WOULDN'T you sign up? Call me crazy, but it seems selfish to just sit around and not take action. All you have to do is sign up, and there's a 53/54 chance you will never get called in your lifetime. If you do get chosen, so you go through some manageable pain? Think about what your recipient has to go through every day with their battle of cancer. There is no comparison.
Sorry, I just got really mad all of a sudden. It just.... makes sense to me. I mean, for me, donating gave me a whole new perspective on things. Look at my passion for Be the Match! It means SO much to me when people tell me that I have inspired them to sign up, or when they let me know they are already in the registry. Whether it was someone as close to me as Nancy or Lou Lou (who sent her kit in the mail today! Yay!) or a stranger who was at closing ceremonies at Relay for Life and heard my story. I am so glad I can make a difference.
But you know me, I am never satisfied. I wish more people would sign up. I wish all of my friends would sign up. Heck, I wish it was a requirement for people to sign up! Wouldn't that be something. Think of how many more people could be saved if every healthy person in the world was signed up onto the registry.
Alright, well that's my rant for the night. This is me wishing that more people could be like me, and tell people that "I just wanted to save a life." I can't force people to make that decision though, I know that. It is a big step to take. But then again, maybe it isn't. Maybe it really is simple.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
P.S. Again, if you read this, please consider following the link and registering for Be the Match. You have the power to save a life.
So it's been two and a half weeks since my PBSC donation, and many thoughts and emotions have been going though me. It's so weird to think that I gave someone what they needed to survive; and the night of the donation, I was perfectly fine, like nothing even happened. I could move on with my life, fancy free.
Because of this, I became really unemotional about it all. People would ask me if I get to meet to donee. I would respond that I would have to wait either half a year, or a year, depending if the patient wants to meet me. To me, I didn't mind if I met the person or not. I did my part, went through the week long process. Just knowing I went through with it is exhilarating enough for me.
Then, about a week after the donation, I kicked it old school and watched some re-runs of "7th Heaven." In one of the episodes, a woman finally got to meet not just one donee, but three that received different organs from her son who died in a car accident. I was balling like a baby when I saw how emotional she was; so happy that her loss saved three lives. I know my situation is different. But it made me realize that if I ever do meet my recipient, I had better have a whole box of tissues with me. It's going to be so much more emotional than I thought.
Another thought I've been having is a silly question I have been asked a lot.
"What made you decide to donate?"
Now, to me, that is a silly question. And one that is hard to answer without sounding..... snobbish? I mean, I do have a reason for signing up for the registry. A short time after you passed away, I wanted a direct way to help, to give back. I don't remember what I googled one day, but somehow I came upon the Be the Match registry. I read through some of the information and process details, and was dismayed to see that I had to wait until I was 18 to sign up. I talked to my aunt about it, and she was very excited about it all.
So I guess that is one answer to that question. My mom died of Leukemia, so I wanted to save someone else from their battle. But that is a little close and personal. And an unnecessary answer. I mean, to me, if it took someone to die for someone else to sign up, what good would that do? I mean, why can't the answer be plain and simple.
"I just wanted to save a life."
It really is that simple. I mean the odds of a patient to match with someone else's bone marrow are MICROSCOPIC. I feel like just knowing that, people should sign up. If you are healthy and able, are cancer free, are between the ages of 18 and 60, meet the BMI requirements, and have never had spinal surgery, why WOULDN'T you sign up? Call me crazy, but it seems selfish to just sit around and not take action. All you have to do is sign up, and there's a 53/54 chance you will never get called in your lifetime. If you do get chosen, so you go through some manageable pain? Think about what your recipient has to go through every day with their battle of cancer. There is no comparison.
Sorry, I just got really mad all of a sudden. It just.... makes sense to me. I mean, for me, donating gave me a whole new perspective on things. Look at my passion for Be the Match! It means SO much to me when people tell me that I have inspired them to sign up, or when they let me know they are already in the registry. Whether it was someone as close to me as Nancy or Lou Lou (who sent her kit in the mail today! Yay!) or a stranger who was at closing ceremonies at Relay for Life and heard my story. I am so glad I can make a difference.
But you know me, I am never satisfied. I wish more people would sign up. I wish all of my friends would sign up. Heck, I wish it was a requirement for people to sign up! Wouldn't that be something. Think of how many more people could be saved if every healthy person in the world was signed up onto the registry.
Alright, well that's my rant for the night. This is me wishing that more people could be like me, and tell people that "I just wanted to save a life." I can't force people to make that decision though, I know that. It is a big step to take. But then again, maybe it isn't. Maybe it really is simple.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
P.S. Again, if you read this, please consider following the link and registering for Be the Match. You have the power to save a life.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
That one time I donated bone marrow.
Dear Mom,
I can't believe I did it. I can't believe that it's all over. It seems like just yesterday I was called almost four months ago, for being a possible match. Now it's the day after for me, and the recipient is receiving my donated PBSC as I type this.
After all the shots, doctors appointments and bloodwork, the drives to UCSF, the pricking and poking, I see why I had to do this. You see mom, even though yesterday was one of the scariest days ever, considering the fact I hate hospitals and needles; What I went through in a mere five days was nothing compared to what my recipient, and all cancer patients, go through every day.
As I was sitting in the hospital bed yesterday morning, the big metal needle where the blood was coming out of me and into the spinner machine in my right arm, and they were now taking multiple tries to put an IV into my other hand, I sat there crying; hating the pricking, feeling nauseous and over-exhausted, wanting to go home. I just tried to breathe, and made myself remember that I would get to go home at the end of the day. Others are not so lucky.
I think the most annoying part of the entire day, besides my legs and arms being sore from sitting there for 7 hours, was the nausea. I threw up on the drive to SF the night before, once that morning in the hotel, once in the waiting room, and then once all over myself in the hospital bed. I knew it was the side effects from the drugs, because it had happened a couple days before. They were all worried, and one woman even wanted to draw blood for a pregnancy test. Lady, that would be a complete waste of your time, and even more pricking that I didn't want.
So trying to do this whole process on an empty stomach, causing my veins to be shy, was no bueno. Once they gave me the nausea meds that calmed me down, it was smooth sailing from there. The blood machine stopped beeping every two minute from lack of pressure, from my fingers slightly moving, or from my vein spasms. I was relaxed, watched some shows on TBS, drank some juice, and suddenly we only had one more hour to go.
As I watched the numbers on the machine go up, counting my stem cell collection count, I was relieved. I'm a visual person, and a numbers person, so it was cool to actually see the progress I was making. All they needed from me was half a bag of my stem cells, and I could watch it fill up. I could look at that, and eventually I allowed myself to move my left hand around and look at my IV, but I never had to look at right arm. I didn't even realize that my right arm was free of the needle and such until he had me start moving it up and down, for the first time in 7 hours.
My aunt got all excited when the blood machine went off, saying that everything was collected. It was 1:20 when it was finally all done. I checked in at 6:30 that morning, and after all the prep, started the collection at about 7:45. Needless to say, I was very happy it was all over.
I stayed on the IV for another 10 minutes, allowing the rest of my blood to get back in. It took about 20 minutes to be able to sit up, then stand. I was just relieved my bladder wasn't exploding to the max.
So I guess the nausea left with the collection because when I hobbled back from the bathroom and there was lunch waiting for me on the bed, I swallowed it whole. I had my aunt take a (not very attractive) picture of me eating the banana to show Lou and Nancy that I was feeling a hell of a lot better. I even ate some Ms. Vicki's jalepeno chips, finishing them from the short distance from the school subway to the car.
Now I'm sitting here in my living room, typing this up, bandaid still on my left hand. (There's two pokes under this one, no way I'm taking this off on my own.) I can't believe I got to do this. I was only on the registry for a few months... and now I am sitting here, knowing that a cancer patient is receiving my life saving bone marrow.
People keep telling me that I'm a great person, their hero, and whatnot. But honestly Mom, if it wasn't for you, I don't know if I would have ever signed up. I knew that when I turned 18, I wanted to make a difference in your honor. Fate be have it, I happened to be a perfect match for someone in need. And I have you to thank for it.
It doesn't take much to be a hero. All you need to do is sign up, and let fate work it's course. I hope people read this and know that I'm not the only one who can do this. Most people can sign up; I just hope that those who are of age and of good health WILL sign up. I may have saved one life, but there are plenty of other patients out there who need help.
I know you're proud of me mom. I am so glad I could do this for you. Like Laura Lou said during her emotional closing ceremonies speech in honor of me: this is my way of fighting back. Not just having a Relay team for you, but for signing up and getting the word out for Be the Match. It's just too simple. I'm healthy and able, so there was no reason NOT to sign up.
Okay, I guess I should close this up. Yesterday was an incredible day that I will never forget. I just hope that the recipient will be okay, and will have a healthy recovery, free from cancer.
Thanks for being my inspiration mom.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
P.S. For anyone who reads this, please consider signing up for the registry. It's easy to sign up. You may be called within a few weeks after registration, or never at all. But you'll never know if you can save someone who is battling a life-threatening blood disease until you make that step and sign up for the registry. Visit Be the Match today.
I can't believe I did it. I can't believe that it's all over. It seems like just yesterday I was called almost four months ago, for being a possible match. Now it's the day after for me, and the recipient is receiving my donated PBSC as I type this.
After all the shots, doctors appointments and bloodwork, the drives to UCSF, the pricking and poking, I see why I had to do this. You see mom, even though yesterday was one of the scariest days ever, considering the fact I hate hospitals and needles; What I went through in a mere five days was nothing compared to what my recipient, and all cancer patients, go through every day.
As I was sitting in the hospital bed yesterday morning, the big metal needle where the blood was coming out of me and into the spinner machine in my right arm, and they were now taking multiple tries to put an IV into my other hand, I sat there crying; hating the pricking, feeling nauseous and over-exhausted, wanting to go home. I just tried to breathe, and made myself remember that I would get to go home at the end of the day. Others are not so lucky.
I think the most annoying part of the entire day, besides my legs and arms being sore from sitting there for 7 hours, was the nausea. I threw up on the drive to SF the night before, once that morning in the hotel, once in the waiting room, and then once all over myself in the hospital bed. I knew it was the side effects from the drugs, because it had happened a couple days before. They were all worried, and one woman even wanted to draw blood for a pregnancy test. Lady, that would be a complete waste of your time, and even more pricking that I didn't want.
So trying to do this whole process on an empty stomach, causing my veins to be shy, was no bueno. Once they gave me the nausea meds that calmed me down, it was smooth sailing from there. The blood machine stopped beeping every two minute from lack of pressure, from my fingers slightly moving, or from my vein spasms. I was relaxed, watched some shows on TBS, drank some juice, and suddenly we only had one more hour to go.
As I watched the numbers on the machine go up, counting my stem cell collection count, I was relieved. I'm a visual person, and a numbers person, so it was cool to actually see the progress I was making. All they needed from me was half a bag of my stem cells, and I could watch it fill up. I could look at that, and eventually I allowed myself to move my left hand around and look at my IV, but I never had to look at right arm. I didn't even realize that my right arm was free of the needle and such until he had me start moving it up and down, for the first time in 7 hours.
My aunt got all excited when the blood machine went off, saying that everything was collected. It was 1:20 when it was finally all done. I checked in at 6:30 that morning, and after all the prep, started the collection at about 7:45. Needless to say, I was very happy it was all over.
I stayed on the IV for another 10 minutes, allowing the rest of my blood to get back in. It took about 20 minutes to be able to sit up, then stand. I was just relieved my bladder wasn't exploding to the max.
So I guess the nausea left with the collection because when I hobbled back from the bathroom and there was lunch waiting for me on the bed, I swallowed it whole. I had my aunt take a (not very attractive) picture of me eating the banana to show Lou and Nancy that I was feeling a hell of a lot better. I even ate some Ms. Vicki's jalepeno chips, finishing them from the short distance from the school subway to the car.
Now I'm sitting here in my living room, typing this up, bandaid still on my left hand. (There's two pokes under this one, no way I'm taking this off on my own.) I can't believe I got to do this. I was only on the registry for a few months... and now I am sitting here, knowing that a cancer patient is receiving my life saving bone marrow.
People keep telling me that I'm a great person, their hero, and whatnot. But honestly Mom, if it wasn't for you, I don't know if I would have ever signed up. I knew that when I turned 18, I wanted to make a difference in your honor. Fate be have it, I happened to be a perfect match for someone in need. And I have you to thank for it.
It doesn't take much to be a hero. All you need to do is sign up, and let fate work it's course. I hope people read this and know that I'm not the only one who can do this. Most people can sign up; I just hope that those who are of age and of good health WILL sign up. I may have saved one life, but there are plenty of other patients out there who need help.
I know you're proud of me mom. I am so glad I could do this for you. Like Laura Lou said during her emotional closing ceremonies speech in honor of me: this is my way of fighting back. Not just having a Relay team for you, but for signing up and getting the word out for Be the Match. It's just too simple. I'm healthy and able, so there was no reason NOT to sign up.
Okay, I guess I should close this up. Yesterday was an incredible day that I will never forget. I just hope that the recipient will be okay, and will have a healthy recovery, free from cancer.
Thanks for being my inspiration mom.
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
P.S. For anyone who reads this, please consider signing up for the registry. It's easy to sign up. You may be called within a few weeks after registration, or never at all. But you'll never know if you can save someone who is battling a life-threatening blood disease until you make that step and sign up for the registry. Visit Be the Match today.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
I'm the Match.
Dear Mom,
So many emotions are running through me right now, it's insane. I'm excited, happy, scared, anxious. It's so insane that this journey of mine to try and donate bone marrow has been so short. I barely registered in November, and now half a year later I find out that I'm a perfect match for a patient. I know in my heart that this was meant to be.
When I got the email from one of the donor center workers, I knew what this meant. I knew that I was about to go through a life changing experience. Not as much for me, but for the patient. I can't even imagine what she and her family are going through. I only hope that the transplant works and that she can try to be healthy again.
I'm still a little unsure of the process. All I know is that a home hospital nurse will come to my house for the five days leading up to the donation, injecting me with the drug that increases my PBSC count. (This means I still get to do the play! I just might be in pain.) Then the night before the donation, my aunt and I will drive to Stanford or UCSF or wherever, and stay there until the process is done. I had no idea how crazy the PBSC donation is... you have to be hooked up to the blood machine thingy for 6 hours. SIX. I thought it was a five minute blood drawing, haha. Since I'm not bulky, they're breaking out the donation over two days so I do not completely pass out. I guess I'll bring some magazines? Not really sure how this is going to work haha.
Honestly, I don't care. The discomfort I will be going through is nothing compared to what this patient has been suffering through. That alone will push me to be strong through everything. I'm not that good with a simple shot or blood drawing, so this is going to be quite an accomplishment for me to get through this. And I will be proud of myself once it's all over.
It's kind of cool that the next weekend will be Relay for Life. It will be a huge reminder of why I am doing all this.
On that note Mommy, I want to thank you. Without you, I never would have looked up Be the Match, and I never would have signed up to donate. People tell me that they're proud of me, but I am proud of YOU. I am proud of the example you set for me, and I admire you for being so strong. You may not have won your battle, but I will never forget how strong and how hard you worked throughout the rest of your life. I can only hope that this procedure goes well, and that I will truly feel like I gave back for everything you gave me. <3
Stop crying. :) Do angels still cry? Probably. Anyway, I love you, with all my heart.
This is really happening. It's not just a dream anymore. :)
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
So many emotions are running through me right now, it's insane. I'm excited, happy, scared, anxious. It's so insane that this journey of mine to try and donate bone marrow has been so short. I barely registered in November, and now half a year later I find out that I'm a perfect match for a patient. I know in my heart that this was meant to be.
When I got the email from one of the donor center workers, I knew what this meant. I knew that I was about to go through a life changing experience. Not as much for me, but for the patient. I can't even imagine what she and her family are going through. I only hope that the transplant works and that she can try to be healthy again.
I'm still a little unsure of the process. All I know is that a home hospital nurse will come to my house for the five days leading up to the donation, injecting me with the drug that increases my PBSC count. (This means I still get to do the play! I just might be in pain.) Then the night before the donation, my aunt and I will drive to Stanford or UCSF or wherever, and stay there until the process is done. I had no idea how crazy the PBSC donation is... you have to be hooked up to the blood machine thingy for 6 hours. SIX. I thought it was a five minute blood drawing, haha. Since I'm not bulky, they're breaking out the donation over two days so I do not completely pass out. I guess I'll bring some magazines? Not really sure how this is going to work haha.
Honestly, I don't care. The discomfort I will be going through is nothing compared to what this patient has been suffering through. That alone will push me to be strong through everything. I'm not that good with a simple shot or blood drawing, so this is going to be quite an accomplishment for me to get through this. And I will be proud of myself once it's all over.
It's kind of cool that the next weekend will be Relay for Life. It will be a huge reminder of why I am doing all this.
On that note Mommy, I want to thank you. Without you, I never would have looked up Be the Match, and I never would have signed up to donate. People tell me that they're proud of me, but I am proud of YOU. I am proud of the example you set for me, and I admire you for being so strong. You may not have won your battle, but I will never forget how strong and how hard you worked throughout the rest of your life. I can only hope that this procedure goes well, and that I will truly feel like I gave back for everything you gave me. <3
Stop crying. :) Do angels still cry? Probably. Anyway, I love you, with all my heart.
This is really happening. It's not just a dream anymore. :)
Love your baby doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The call, the inspiration.
Dear Mom,
So, I haven't posted this on here, but something really big happened, mom. On April 21, I got a call from Be the Match, and they told me I am a potential match to someone else. :) I went in and did additional lab work, so now I just have to wait and see what happens.
I cannot describe how happy I am that this happened. I am a walking bilboard for advocating bone marrow donations. If I could actually be one of the people who got to save someone's life... I don't think much else can make me proud of myself. Proud that I got to do something so big in honor of you.
I even did my persuasive speech about bone marrow donations. Guess who got an A+ on it? :) I don't think I did very well, but I guess my hard work and passion showed through.
Because of my speech, I inspired my professor to sign up to donate. And I could tell she meant it. That's really all I want from spreading the word about a need for bone marrow donors. If I talk to my entire class, and I inspire one person to make that step in their life, then I made a difference. I hope that people find this video, watch it, and get inspired too.
I am doing really well, Mom. Just preparing for finals, not feeling too scared about it all. I'm ready to end this semester, and start a new one. I'm ready to go home and be with all my best friends. I'm ready to move into a house next year, and really start to settle down in the city. I was going through some rough stuff this semester, but I'm ready to say goodbye to all that crap, and say hello to a new beginning. This call from Be the Match really showed me that there are more important things in life than life's little dramas.
I love you so much. <3
Love your Baby Doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
So, I haven't posted this on here, but something really big happened, mom. On April 21, I got a call from Be the Match, and they told me I am a potential match to someone else. :) I went in and did additional lab work, so now I just have to wait and see what happens.
I cannot describe how happy I am that this happened. I am a walking bilboard for advocating bone marrow donations. If I could actually be one of the people who got to save someone's life... I don't think much else can make me proud of myself. Proud that I got to do something so big in honor of you.
I even did my persuasive speech about bone marrow donations. Guess who got an A+ on it? :) I don't think I did very well, but I guess my hard work and passion showed through.
I am doing really well, Mom. Just preparing for finals, not feeling too scared about it all. I'm ready to end this semester, and start a new one. I'm ready to go home and be with all my best friends. I'm ready to move into a house next year, and really start to settle down in the city. I was going through some rough stuff this semester, but I'm ready to say goodbye to all that crap, and say hello to a new beginning. This call from Be the Match really showed me that there are more important things in life than life's little dramas.
I love you so much. <3
Love your Baby Doll,
Tessy Loo Loo
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