I'm the Match.

Dear Mom, 

So many emotions are running through me right now, it's insane. I'm excited, happy, scared, anxious. It's so insane that this journey of mine to try and donate bone marrow has been so short. I barely registered in November, and now half a year later I find out that I'm a perfect match for a patient. I know in my heart that this was meant to be. 

When I got the email from one of the donor center workers, I knew what this meant. I knew that I was about to go through a life changing experience. Not as much for me, but for the patient. I can't even imagine what she and her family are going through. I only hope that the transplant works and that she can try to be healthy again. 

I'm still a little unsure of the process. All I know is that a home hospital nurse will come to my house for the five days leading up to the donation, injecting me with the drug that increases my PBSC count. (This means I still get to do the play! I just might be in pain.) Then the night before the donation, my aunt and I will drive to Stanford or UCSF or wherever, and stay there until the process is done. I had no idea how crazy the PBSC donation is... you have to be hooked up to the blood machine thingy for 6 hours. SIX. I thought it was a five minute blood drawing, haha. Since I'm not bulky, they're breaking out the donation over two days so I do not completely pass out. I guess I'll bring some magazines? Not really sure how this is going to work haha. 

Honestly, I don't care. The discomfort I will be going through is nothing compared to what this patient has been suffering through. That alone will push me to be strong through everything. I'm not that good with a simple shot or blood drawing, so this is going to be quite an accomplishment for me to get through this. And I will be proud of myself once it's all over.

It's kind of cool that the next weekend will be Relay for Life. It will be a huge reminder of why I am doing all this. 

On that note Mommy, I want to thank you. Without you, I never would have looked up Be the Match, and I never would have signed up to donate. People tell me that they're proud of me, but I am proud of YOU. I am proud of the example you set for me, and I admire you for being so strong. You may not have won your battle, but I will never forget how strong and how hard you worked throughout the rest of your life. I can only hope that this procedure goes well, and that I will truly feel like I gave back for everything you gave me. <3 

Stop crying. :) Do angels still cry? Probably. Anyway, I love you, with all my heart. 

This is really happening. It's not just a dream anymore. :)


               Love your baby doll, 
               Tessy Loo Loo

Seems like yesterday.

Dear Mom,


Felt like doing some poem writing. Packing has made me so nostalgic. The twirling of the hair thing is what made me want to write this. I will always remember when we were talking about freshman orientation, and you pointed out that you knew I was nervous because I twirled my hair while I walked up to the gym. Reason number 32985480 you know me so well. 


Brand new shoes. 
straightened my hair, to look extra nice
Tons of perfume


Nervousness
I snap at you because I'm so out of it
The car ride seems forever


We get to the gym.
Freshman orientation.
What am I getting myself into?


I get out of the car, 
twirling my hair, my signature nervousness tweak,
And walk away from my past, and look forward to the future


High school.
It's really here.
The start of something new, a whole new world.


Four years, or four seconds.
Filled with memories, tears
It's like one big flash


Now I'm in my college dorm,
packing up, one year down
This is unreal.


I'm not that baby freshman walking to old gym
But I don't feel any older
Can time please stop


If I could show five years ago me what life turned out like
she would have screamed
Things have changed so much


No regrets.
So cliche, but I mean it.
Life has thrown its curveballs, but I survived them all


So freshman me,
How did I turn out?
Am I all that you wanted me to be?




                Love your babydoll,
                Tessy Loo Loo

The call, the inspiration.

Dear Mom,

So, I haven't posted this on here, but something really big happened, mom. On April 21, I got a call from Be the Match, and they told me I am a potential match to someone else. :) I went in and did additional lab work, so now I just have to wait and see what happens.
I cannot describe how happy I am that this happened. I am a walking bilboard for advocating bone marrow donations. If I could actually be one of the people who got to save someone's life... I don't think much else can make me proud of myself. Proud that I got to do something so big in honor of you.
I even did my persuasive speech about bone marrow donations. Guess who got an A+ on it? :) I don't think I did very well, but I guess my hard work and passion showed through.

Because of my speech, I inspired my professor to sign up to donate. And I could tell she meant it. That's really all I want from spreading the word about a need for bone marrow donors. If I talk to my entire class, and I inspire one person to make that step in their life, then I made a difference. I hope that people find this video, watch it, and get inspired too.

I am doing really well, Mom. Just preparing for finals, not feeling too scared about it all. I'm ready to end this semester, and start a new one. I'm ready to go home and be with all my best friends. I'm ready to move into a house next year, and really start to settle down in the city. I was going through some rough stuff this semester, but I'm ready to say goodbye to all that crap, and say hello to a new beginning. This call from Be the Match really showed me that there are more important things in life than life's little dramas. 

I love you so much. <3


               Love your Baby Doll, 
               Tessy Loo Loo