& I can't wait

Dear Mom,

Last Friday should have been hard. I should have been crying myself to sleep. I should have stayed in bed. I should have been numb, not wanting to so anything.
But that didn't happen. You taught me better than that.
I'm not saying it gets easier. That I don't miss you. No, it definitely still hurts not having you here. But I know that it will always hurt. Thirty years from now, when my kids are in college, it will hurt. When I'm a crazy old lady dancing at my grandkid's wedding, I will miss you. This will never go away, and I know that.
Do I guess Friday was just a day of reflection. Although there was a lull of sadness that gloomed over, I tried to think on the bright side. Having tons of people reaching out to me worked wonders. Although it sucks not having you here, MAN are there a lot of people here who love us to no end.
It brought me back to that night in the hospital. Although it was the worst night of my life, looking around the waiting room, I knew I was in safe hands. Even on that I night I knew that everything was going to be okay.
So I guess as time passes by, it really has become less about hurting at how long I've been without you, and turning into longing and anxiousness about when I will see you again. Because even if its a long ways off, it will be worth the wait.


                Love your baby doll,
                Tessy loo loo